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  • Writer's pictureKirsten Kyllingstad

You Don't Have to Do it All to Have it All

Phew. I’m back. Life just got to be too hectic and busy in May and I had to scale things down. Finishing up the school year, working at the Airline, helping my son’s school by subbing, taking all the classes and trainings required in order to actually DO the subbing, writing blog posts, writing and posting to Instagram every day, making the products, working as a vendor in a local Saturday Market, training for a marathon, summer vacations, back to school routines, soccer practice, swim lessons, dance class. Not to mention all the normal day-to-day things that I do around the house. Something had to give. And it was a pause on the “marketing” aspect of my business.

It took time for me to not feel like I was letting myself down. Or feeling like I was failing at the business. Or even just a failure in general. I felt like I wasn’t trying hard enough. I wasn’t putting as much into the business as I could be. Should be. As much as fellow friends were putting into their businesses. It is so hard to stop comparing ourselves to others. It is hard to stop comparing ourselves to a vision of who we think we should be. But that’s exactly what we need to do.

Take a step back and focus on the big picture. When you only focus on one aspect of your life it is easy to judge yourself negatively. But by putting that on pause, and taking a step back, you give yourself space to truly analyze what is going on.

Despite not making a monthly blog post, and despite not making a daily IG post, I was still working the business. I didn’t have to get caught up in the one aspect that was different than what I was doing before. I am still spending hours running to train for my marathon. I went to the Market as a vendor and met some amazing people. I spent days at my son’s school helping fulfill a need and then waving at him when we passed each other on campus. I’m ticking things off my to-do list at home. I spent time with my family. Even though I didn’t DO all the things, I still feel like I HAVE all the things. My family is my first priority. Spending time with them has to be number one. My son will fondly remember me coming to his school and taking him to practices and coming to his games. He would equally remember me being too busy with “business stuff” to spend time involved in what he does. I want the fact that I’ve started a business to be an inspiration to both my kids. Not something that they remember as taking time away from the family. Setting goals, working hard, pivoting, etc. are all things to help them grow. Seeing my business as a “time suck” isn’t the message I want to send. Owning and running a business absolutely takes time. But it should still be fun. And for me, it shouldn’t come at the cost of my family.

So, while I have missed doing all the things, I still work to maintain a healthy balance. It is a never-ending quest. One that takes a bunch of revisiting and adjusting. And I think we could all probably do this from time to time to make sure we are on track to where we want to be. I am so grateful for my family and the life I lead because they are in it. Sometimes we just have to adjust our mindset for what “having it all” truly means.

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